Kobolds Ate My Baby (TG Edition)

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Kobold Ate My Baby (TG Edition). This is a homebrewed KAMB setting devised by Docbubonic to be run in a Play by Post format. This edition is based off of the third edition rules with a smattering of earlier and later editions of the game.



STAT GENERATING

Use the generator instead, unless you like rolling dice

In order to play, all you have to do is go into #bubonicgames on (irc.synirc.net)and post these commands:

(New commands coming)

The results of these are stats, traits and bogies, and armor, weapons and gear. You can arrange the four stats anyway you want. The other rolls should just be posted as is. I reserve the right to override any rolls except stats. The numbers for traits, bogies, armor, weapons and gear all correspond with charts that I don't have posted. I'll let you know what you got based on what you rolled.

THE FOUR STATS

BRAWN (B) - Is how big, mean, tough and strong a Kobold is. When you want to break something, lift something, hurt something, or otherwise act macho, you roll against BRAWN. Brawn determines how hard your Kobold is to kill, called HITS, and how well they kill, called TO HIT.

EGO (E) - Is the intelligence (used here as a relative term), knowledge, and selfcontrol (again, relatively speaking) of a Kobold. It determines how well you do at mental feats like casting magick spells, hiding, or speaking with humans.

EXTRANEOUS (e) - Is a useless stat, for things like being a cleric, or constructing a killer deck for the next big tournament! When doing something that has no bearing on killing stuff, getting hurt, or blowing things up, roll against Extraneous. Extraneous determines your MOVEMENT.

REFLEXES (R) -Is how quick, athletic and dexterous your Kobold is. When you want to climb walls, jump, dodge, hit stuff, or run away, you roll against Reflexes. Reflexes determine how good you are at not getting hit, called COMBAT DICE.

KOBOLD SKILLS

A skill is any area of knowledge in which the Kobold has received training, or has just picked up over the years. Skills define a Kobold's abilities and can be as mundane as climbing or as complicated as setting traps. Besides killing and eating, Kobolds only know how to do 4 other things, one for each of their stats. Each skill is governed by one of these four stats, which determ\nes how good a Kobold is at using that skill, the higher the stat the better! When a Kobold wants to use a skill, the Mayor will tell them how many dice to roll (the DIFFICULTY), and the Kobold will try to roll UNDER their stat. Listed with each skill is a sample of the DIFFICULTY in using that skill.

Some skills give the Kobold a special ability or power, and power is dangerous in a Kobold's paw. Those skills marked DANGER! do not require a roll to use, but have their own negative side-effects, explained later.

Example: Vosh and Bail want to hide under a rock from an oncoming Adventurer. Vosh has HIDE, which is an EGO skill. The Mayor tells Vosh that the DIFFICULTY of hiding from this critter is 3 Dice, so Vosh rolls 3d6 and tries to get under his EGO stat. Vosh has a 9 EGO, so he rolls 3d6 getting a 7 and successfully hides. Bail doesn't have the skill HIDE, so when he tells the Mayor that he wants to hide, the Mayor laughs at him and says -"Ha! You don't know how. The adventurer sees you and attempts to fit his axe between your ears!"

Select one skill from each stat group, and record it on the Kobold Reference Sheet under SKILLS.


BRAWN SKILLS

BASH - The ability to break inanimate objects. The DIFFICULTY of the action is determined by how hard something is, examples are shown on the chart.

BULLY - The kobold has mastered the ancient schoolyard martial art of bullying. A kobold can attempt to bully (i.e. threaten to seriously hurt) another creature to make that creature perform one action. The difficulty of the action is equal to Brawn (for strong stupid creatures) or Ego (for weak smarter creatures) of the victim. The bully must be able to communicate to the victim to be able to use this skill.

DUELIST - DANGER! The Kobold is a seasoned veteran, and by using Duelist can re-roll a failed attack roll. This skill does not require a Brawn Roll.

LIFT - The Kobold is especially brawny and by using this skill can carry an additional ITEM without penalty. The Difficulty is equal to the number of items the kobold is attempting to carry. Each time the number of items in the kobol possession changes, the kobold must remake the lift roll. Failure results in everything falling to the ground.

SWIMMING - The Kobold can swim. Duh! The DIFFICULTY of the Swimming depends on how fast the water is moving.

WRASSLE - The Kobold is trained at grabbing living things and putting them on the ground. The DIFFICULTY of this action is equal to the Combat Dice of the target. After a successful WRASSLE, a Kobold can spend one action to stuff a small living critter in his mouth. Chewing does 3 DAM per turn.


EGO SKILLS

HIDE - The ability to conceal oneself in the shadows or behind cover. The DIFFICULTY of this action is up to the Mayor.

LACKEY - DANGER! The ability to cast a magic spell. See KOBOLD MAGICK!

TRACK - The ability to follow a trail whether in town, in the bushes, or underground. The DIFFICULTY of this action is up to the Mayor.

TRAPS - The ability to set traps, or disarm them without being harmed. The DIFFICULTY of "searching" for traps is 2d6. The DIFFICULTY of disarming a trap is up to the Mayor. Remember, if the kobold fails the roll, the trap goes off with them at ground zero. The DIFFICULTY for setting a trap, is 1 die per damage caused by the trap.

SPEAK HUMAN - Some Kobolds have dedicated their lives to learning the speech of their favorite prey. With this skill, a Kobold can speak and understand 1 word of Human per point of EGO; Write down your Kobold's vocabulary on the Kobold Reference Sheet. If a Kobold attempts to speak or understand anything other then these words, the DIFFICULTY is determined by how many words are in the sentence (1 die per word)!


EXTRANEOUS SKILLS

BARD - Kobolds don't have a great oral tradition, and most of their storytellers are just big fat liars. A Kobold with the Bard skill can lie. The DIFFICULTY of lying to another player Kobold is 3d6, 4d6 to lie to guards, and 5d6 to lie to King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!), and 6D6 to lie to VOR himself.

COOK - Training in the culinary arts. The recipe determines the DIFFICULTY.

COWER - DANGER! Most Kobolds lack the sense of self-preservation needed to try and avoid taking damage. Those Kobolds that do try and get out of the way are considered cowering weaklings. By COWERING a Kobold increases their Combat Dice by 1 until the end of their next turn. This does not require an EXTRANEOUS roll.

DUNGEON - The ability to climb, hang from ropes, drive stakes, and do those other nifty things that Adventurers like to do in dungeons. The DIFFICULTY is determined by the mayor, or is 2d6.

TRADE - DANGER! The Kobold has trained long and hard to be a good dickerer, bargainer, or used horse salesmen, and so can re-roll any result on any chart. This skill can be used during Kobold generation, and does not require an roll.


REFLEXES SKILLS

ATHLETE - The Kobold can leap, jump, roll, climb, and otherwise call upon their Koboldosterone. The DIFFICULTY for any Athletic action is up to the Mayor.

FAST - The Kobold is a sprinter and can increase their MOVE this turn. The DIFFICULTY is equal to 1 die per additional square of movement.

THROW - The Kobold can hurl melee weapons, babies and gear at their foes. The DIFFICULTY of throwing something is equal to the Combat Dice of the target. When in doubt a thrown object does at least 1 DAM. Inanimate objects have 1 Combat Die.

SNEAK - The ability to move quietly and to remain undetected. The base DIFFICULTY for this is 3d6, but it depends on what you're trying to sneak past.

STEAL - The ability to take a piece of gear from someone else without him or her knowing that you took it. The DIFFICULTY of stealing from another Kobold is 3d6, and the DIFFICULTY of stealing from anything else is up to the Mayor. If you fail the roll, the target notices you -you little thief!

THE DOWN SIDE

As you may have heard, it's tough being a Kobold! Every time a Kobold fails a skill roll, there is a chance that they will die a Horrible Kobold Death. Every time a Kobold fails, check off a box in the Kobold Horrible Death Record on the Kobold Reference Sheet. Each time that a Kobold takes a check, roll 2d6 and add the number of checks you have to the roll. If the total is less than or equal to 12, you don't die. If the roll, plus the checks, is greater than 12 - you have to roll for KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH. See page 31 for complete rules on how horribly Kobolds can (and will) die.

Some skills are especially dangerous to use, like Duelist, Lackey, Cower and Trade (the ones marked DANGER!). Each time a Kobold uses a DANGER! skill, they automatically take a Kobold Horrible Death Check!


EDGES

3. + Useless

4. + Animal Chum

5. + Bouncy

6. + Fatty Goodness

7. + Troll Blood

8. + Winning Smile

9. + Full of Traits

10. + Extra Eyeball

11. + Giant Blood

12. + Metal Head Plate

13. + Siamese Twin

14. + Stone Skin

15. + Extra Arm

16. + Highly Intelligent

17. + Cowardice

18. + Natural Combatant


+ USELESS: You have no discernable positive qualities, whatsoever.

+ ANIMAL CHUM: Ever since you were just a little pup, you have had a special way with animals. Animals will not attack you, unless you specifically attack them.

+ BOUNCY: The gods have decreed that this Kobold will not be falling to his death. No matter how far you may fall, or how much damage is taken, your Kobold will always have at least 1 HIT after hitting bottom and will bounce into a random adjacent square.

+ FATTY GOODNESS: You have lived the good life, and a round, pudgy belly is the big reward. You start the game with 1d6 additional HITS from your impressive bulk.

+ TROLL BLOOD: One of your ancestors was a bit of a swinger. You have the wondrous ability to regenerate damage. You can spend 1 full turn (doing nothing else), to licking your wounds to and gain 2 HITS. Note: You can only lick your wounds, when you have them (i.e. after taking damage).

+ WINING SMILE: Your Kobold has a wide, toothy, friendly smile that inspires both trust and camaraderie in men, and causes most women to think you are very cute (or vice versai). As long as you are smiling, humans will not attack you! (That is of course, until you do something out-and-out wrong, like stealing a baby or eating a cat.) Note: The Player must actually be smiling for the Kobold to reap the benefits of this edge.

+ FULL OF TRAITS: You gain an extra roll on the traits chart and begin the game with two random traits instead of just one. If Full of Traits is rolled again it should be ignored and the roll remade. Vor just isn't that nice when it comes to handing out traits.

+ EXTRA EYEBALL: One of your parents was a Wizard's Lab Experiment. Due to all of the spells cast upon them you were born with an extra eye located somewhere on your body. At creation you may locate this eyeball anywhere on your body. This grants you a _1 Die Bonus to situations where your extra eye is able to see something you wouldn't normally be able to see.

+ GIANT BLOOD: One of your kobold ancestors was into “big” lovers and so your family has always been on the large size. You gain 2 points of Brawn and about a foot in height. In dim light, you are often mistaken as a Hobkobold.

+ METAL HEAD PLATE: You have a large metal plate that has been inserted into your forehead. This questionable fashion statement gives you +2 Armour HITS.

+ SIAMESE TWIN: You are connected at the side with another Kobold and as a result gain an extra 5 points to distribute among your attributes and an additional roll for armor and may wield an additional weapon during combat. Feel free to argue with your twin loudly and constantly throughout the game.

+ STONE SKIN: Your skin seems harder than the average Kobold. You can take much more punishment than your average Kobold. You gain 1d6 addition Armor HITS.

+ EXTRA ARM: Due to some bad breeding, for instance your mother smoked or drank while in labor, you have on extra hand and can carry and wield one extra weapon or one extra item. Although this looks cool, you might be dubbed “retarted” by other Kobolds. You simply see yourself as special.

+ HIGHLY INTELLIGENT: Nearly all members of your family have worked for Evil Wizards therefore you possess greater than normal intelligence and are encouraged to speak in such a way. You gain 1d6 additional EGO Points and wear nifty looking glasses. If ever another Kobold who is not +Highly Intelligent has the same EGO score as you, add 1 to your EGO so that you are still highly intelligent.

+ COWARDICE: Fortunately for you, you are a coward. You are not fearless at all and do believe in self_preservation. You get no KHDCs from running away from combat.

+ NATURAL COMBATANT: You like fighting and it shows! All those brawls in the caves are finally paying off. +2 to hit rolls.


BOGIES

3. - Faultless

4. - Animal Foe

5. - Foul Smelling

6. - Hungry

7. - Kobold In Heat

8. - Tastes Like Baby

9. - Alcoholic

10. - Bent on Destruction

11. - Cursed

12. - One Armed

13. - Plain Stupid

14. - Schizophrenic

15. - A Bogie Sort of Vormus

16. - Wizard’s Lab Experiment

17. - Cave Potato

18. - Pixie Blood


- FAULTLESS: The only thing wrong with you, is you're a Kobold!

- ANIMAL FOE: You've spent most of your life kicking dogs and lighting cows on fire. As a result all animals get a bad vibe from being near you. All animals within your map square will try to leave, and if cornered will attack!

- FOUL SMELLING: You never really took much to the concept of bathing; as such, a putrid cloud clings to you. Anything in your map square will notice the scent, and probably come looking for a pile of dung.

- HUNGRY: You have an insatiable appetite, even for a Kobold. Your need to eat is so great that if you smell the blood of anything tasty, you must make a 3 dice EGO roll or go into a feeding frenzy, unable to stop yourself from trying to eat your prey. The Kobold definition of tasty is anything that tastes as good as chicken (like chickens, for example, or waffles or other Kobolds or baby! Yum!)

- KOBOLD IN HEAT: You're facing some big changes in your life this yea~ and dogs have begun to notice. If you encounter a dog, it will follow you around until it can get you alone. Every time you encounter an adult human, you must make a 3 dice EGO roll, or attempt to hump their leg. Each turn spent "humping" reduces the EGO roll by 1 die.

- TASTES LIKE BABY: Sure, every Kobold tastes great swimming in tomato gravy, but you just smell delicious! Should you become wounded, all critters (other than Humans) in the map square must make an EGO roll at 3 dice. If a critter fails the roll, the desire to eat you becomes overpowering. If a Kobold with the HUNGRY bogie is nearby, they must make a 5 dice EGO Roll.

- ALCOHOLIC: You refuse to admit it but you are an alcoholic. Whenever you see booze or whiskey you must roll a 3d6 EGO check or immediately go for the booze or whiskey even if it is in another Kobold’s hand. If another kobold brings up the fact that you have a problem you must immediately deny it or suffer a KHDC.

- BENT ON DESTRUCTION: You are much more evil, chaotic, and destructive than the normal Kobold. At any time you see a building that can be burned, a window that can be broken, or any form of destruction possible, you must make a 3d6 EGO check or commence burning and/or smashing and/or destroying. The mayor may force you to roll this check at a _1 bonus every round following the first failed check when something is still able to be burned/smashed/or destroyed until everything is burned/smashed/or destroyed or you finally succeed your check (i.e. Thirg sees a house with several windows so the mayor has him roll a 3d6 EGO check, he fails therefore he is suddenly filled with the urge to break one of those windows. The next round comes around and the mayor lets Thirg roll a 3d6_1 EGO check, he fails again. Thirg must break a second window. "Smash good!" The third round comes around and the mayor lets Thirg roll a 3d6_2 EGO check. He finally succeeds so his destructive rage has worn off. Had he failed that roll he would have been allowed to roll a 3d6_3 EGO check).

- CURSED: Your Kobold is cursed and that's going to suck for you! Whenever your roll is equal to what you need to make (i.e. you have to roll a 6 and you roll a 6 exactly) your Kobold fails. And if that wasn't enough, you begin the game with a Kobold Horrible Death Record of 4. You should feel free to complain about your curse throughout the game (Loudly and incessantly!)

- ONE ARMED: You have one arm and are pretty sure that officials are after you in connection with the death of someone you once loved. You can carry one less item and subtract 1 from your Reflex score.

- PLAIN STUPID: Throughout your life every body has tried to teach you things but for some reason you just didn’t get it. Well, that’s because you are just plain stupid! You begin the game at 3 EGO and your EGO can never go above that number.

- SCHIZOPHRENIC: You have a duel_personality, a Kojekyle and Kohyde if you will. Whenever you enter battle there is a 1 in 6 chance that you will spend the battle attacking your fellow Kobolds! During this time you must constantly be arguing with yourself failure to do so will result in a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK.

- A BOGIE SORT OF VORMAS: When Vor was handing out the traits and bogies last Vormas, you were the last in line and thus received two bogies instead of one. You begin play with an extra randomly rolled bogie. You then should roll 2 bogies for your kobold. If the _Bogie Sort of Vormas is rolled again, it should be ignored since any kobold with 4 bogies would be dead before they made it out of their cribs.

- WIZARD’S LAB EXPERIMENT: At some point in your life you served as a Wizard’s Lab Experiment. As a result any time you enter combat there is a 1 in 6 chance that you will cast a random spell, usually at your companions.

- CAVE POTATO: Years of sitting in the cave and watching other kobolds has left you with a poor physique. - 2 to your to hit rolls.

- PIXIE BLOOD: One of your kobold ancestors was kinky so your family has always been on the small size. You loose 2 points of Brawn and about a foot in height. In dim light, you are often mistaken as a Hobgremlin.


Kobold Magick

Due to a complete lack of marketable skills, most Kobolds end up working the IX - to - V grind as fodder in some dungeon. Real go-getters will eventually find employment as henchmen for Evil Wizards. While working as lackeys, some Kobolds manage to actually learn something, and return to the Caves with the ability to cast a Magick Spell. Casting a spell requires the skill LACKEY, and requires a 2 dice EGO roll (unless otherwise noted). If a Kobold successfully casts a spell, they get a check on the KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH RECORD. If a Kobold fails to cast a spell, they still get a check on the KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH RECORD, but the spell misfires, and the MAYOR rolls 2d6 to see what spell actually goes off. Note: All spells have a "Somatic" component, which requires that the player (not just the Kobold) perform some action for the spell to work properly. Failure to perform the somatic component causes the spell to fizzle !

RANDOM MAGICK SPELL CHART (2D6)

2. "Summon Horrible Demon..."

3. "Wall of Beer"

4. "Hagen's LARPsfucation"

5. "The Kobold Mind Trick"

6. "Bail's Floating Frying Pan"

7. "Restor's Spell of Somnolence"

8. "Tabriz' Ball of Flaming Death"

9. "Lord Elmer's Ball of Glue"

10. "Sandor's Spell of Summoning Chicken"

11. "The POOF! Spell"

12. "The Spell of Mostly Unspeakable Horrors"

"Summon Horrible Demon That Enjoyeth Eating Kobolds" -This isn't really a spell, but you forgot the one that you learned, and you had already told every­one that you could cast a spell, so you made this up.

"Wall of Beer" - This incantation creates a dazzling line of keg-fresh frothy beer that forms a wall around the caster, after the player shouts the magic words, "TAPPA TAPPA KEGGA, WALL 0' BEER OMEGA" while doing a little dance. While "safely nestled in the bosom of booze" the Kobold gains +2 Combat Dice and crit­ters trying to pass the wall must make a 4 dice BRAWN roll.

"Hagen's LARPsfucation" - The Kobold can cause herself to become invisible. The spell lasts for 1d6 turns. While the Kobold is invisible, the player must keep his arms folded across her chest (like a brooding vampire) or the spell fails!

"The Kobold Mind Trick" - You have the ability to influence the mind of another creature by issuing a simple, nonviolent command; such as "these aren't the chickens you're looking for." The effect lasts for 1d6 turns. To cast this spell, the player must say the command in a low, calm voice. "Bail's Floating Frying Pan" - This handy spell makes a floating Frying Pan materialize from thin air. The sizzling skillet makes all COOK rolls 2 dice easier; and can be used as a weapon that does 3 DAM. The player must ask the other players, "Can you smell what {INSERT NAME OF KOBOLD HERE} is cooking!"

"Restor's Spell of Somnolence" - By making a mighty yawn (yes, you have to yawn!), you cause d6 creatures to fall asleep for 1d6 turns. Should there not be enough non-Kobold critters in the area, the Mayor should feel free to cause any Kobolds, especially the caster;: to fall asleep to make up the difference.

"Tabriz' Ball of Flaming Death" - A line of fire erupts from your body, and tears towards your opponent. The fire does d6 DAM and generally catches any combustibles in its path on fire. The player must laugh maniacally at their target.

"Lord Elmer's Ball of Glue" - You conjure an orb of elemental stickiness from the Quasi-Elemental Plane of Adhesives. Your victim is caught in the glue, which makes all REFLEXES rolls 1 die harder. In addition, the victim cannot put any ITEM down, and anything touched by the victim becomes stuck. The spell lasts for 2d6 turns.

"Sandor's Spell of Summoning Chicken" - By chanting the secret words of this spell (which to the other players sounds like a bad chicken impression), a chicken instantly appears from your hat. If you have this spell, you also get a keen hat. The summoned chicken will obey all your commands. Magic Chicken stats: B 2/ E 5/ e 5/ R 15/ CD4 / HITS 2/ DAM 11­ Tastes Like Chicken.

"The POOF! Spell" - With an audible Poof! (created by the player) the caster disappears in a puff of smoke. On the Kobold's next turn, they reappear up to two squares away, in any direction, through any kind of obstacle. Difficulty 4d6.

"The Spell of Mostly Unspeakable Horrors" - Long thought to have been banned throughout the Polyverse, the Spell of Mostly Unspeakable Horrors is a favorite of Kobold sorcerers. We would explain what happens when this spell is cast, but the horrors are mostly too unspeakable (except for the poli-dimensional tentacles, that really aren't all that bad). To cast this most maleficent incantation, the player must howl and wail madly. The target of this spell takes a Kobold Horrible Death Check, and 1 DAM for each Check that the caster has!

GEAR

ARMOR

3) Leather Apron

4) Socks

5) Tee-Shirt

6) Leather Jacket

7) Beer-Barrel armor

8) Nekkid!

9) Discarded Kids Clothes

10) Big Shield

11) Khaki Pants

12) Leather Britches

13) Metal Pot Helm

14) Cape

15) Apron

16) Small shield

17) Lintmail Vest

18) Cerebral Enhance-o-tron (colanders on the head)


LEATHER APRON: 6 Armor Hits and counts as a backpack

SOCKS: 1 Armor Hits

TEE-SHIRT: 2 Armor Hits

LEATHER JACKET: 6 Armor Hits and it makes you look tough

BEER-BARREL ARMOR: 9 Armor Hits, penalty Die to ATHLETE CHECKS

NEKKID: Wearing only what Vor gave you at birth (meaning NOTHING!)

DISCARDED KIDS CLOTHES: 1 Amor Hits, but at least you’re not Nekkid!

BIG SHIELD: 12 Armor Hits, but counts as an ITEM.

KHAKI PANTS: 1 Armor Hits.

METAL POT HELM: 10 Armor Hits.

LEATHER BRITCHES: 4 Armour Hits.

CAPE: 1 Armor Hits and very stylish

APRON: 2 Armor Hits, Bonus die on cooking

SMALL SHIELD: Takes 4 HITS, strapped around your waist.

LINTMAIL VEST: 1 Armor Hits.

CEREBRAL ENHANCE-O-TRON: 1 Armor Hits. It might look like a colander on a kobold’s head, but in actuality it’s a device that enhances intelligence. As long as the Cerebral Enhance-o-tron is on the kobold’s head and isn’t destroyed, the kobold gets a bonus die for ego rolls.

WEAPONS

3) None for you!

4) Stick

5) Club

6) Hammer

7) Short Spear

8) Dagger

9) Small Sword

10) Ladle

11) Iron Skillet

12) Chain

13) Dead Rat

14) Military Kitchen Fork

15) Flame Thrower

16) Adamantine Spork

17) Knife

18) Hand Axe


STICK: 1 DAM can be thrown to distract dogs

CLUB : 2 DAM, Bonus Die to BASH rolls

HAMMER: 1 DAM, Bonus Die to SPELUNK rolls

SHORT SPEAR: 2 DAM

DAGGER: 1 DAM and it looks really cool!

SMALL SWORD: 2 DAM and it doesn't look cool!

LADEL: 1 DAM, Bonus die to COOK rolls!

IRON SKILLET: 3 DAM

CHAIN: 2 DAM and makes you look menacing

DEAD RAT: 0 DAM, - Foul Smelling

MILITARY KITCHEN FORK: 2 DAM

FLAME THROWER: DANGER! Does 6 damage each use is a KHDC

ADAMANTINE SPORK: 3 DAM

KNIFE: 1 DAM


GEAR

3) Nothing

4) Spice Sack

5) Lint

6) 25 feet of rope

7) 10 foot pole

8) Booze*

9) Codex of Tabriz the Arcane

10) Ring of Human Speaking

11) Bag of Holding: chickens

12) Backpack

13) Rusty wagon

14) Adventurer’s Cast-offs

15) Pogo Stick

16) Jetpack

17) Healing Lip Balm

18) Monocle


SPICE SACK: Your kobold is carrying a full arsenal of herbs and spices in a baggie. These herbs make food taste great. If successfully used with a 3 dice cook roll, the resulting meal will give the kobold an additional 1d6 hits. There are enough spices in the sack to prepare 2 meals.

LINT: A handful of lint.

25 FEET OF ROPE: A length of rope in a nice neat coil, when used this item gives a bonus die to Dungeon and Athlete climbing rolls. Unfortunately, after you use it the first time, you know that you'll never be able to coil it as nicely as it is now. It's like folding a map, and when was the last time you saw a Kobold cartographer? Once used, it counts as 2 ITEMS to carry.

10 FOOT POLE: A broken 10' piece of wood favored by adventurers, approximately 9 feet long. This item gives a bonus die to all dungeon rolls. Only Vor knows where you keep it when you aren’t using it!

BOOZE*: Your Kobold has a bottle of some kind of alcohol - roll 1d6. Drinking alcohol is a stupid thing to do, but Kobolds are stupid. Alcohol is good for starting fires, trading with humans, and calming babies (though you will probably need to refer to the BABY NEGLIGENCE rule). A Kobold won't know what is in the bottle till they prove their stupidity by drinking it.

CODEX OF TABRIZ THE ARCANE: You have d6 pages of a magic book. To use these pages your must crumple them up and throw them at someone (kaws Koblds dot red so gud!). The kobold or NPC hit by the page is the target of the magik spell. You can find the exact spell by rolling 2d6 and consulting the Random Spell Chart (after the spell is thrown). Regardless of the effect, it instantly happens (no EGO roll required). Every time you use it add a check to the KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH RECORD.

RING OF HUMAN SPEAKING: While wearing this ring, the Kobold may speak to humans as if they were Kobolds. (I.e. he can understand what they are saying and they can understand him).

BAG OF HOLDING: CHICKENS: An interesting item, apprentices usually make this bag in Magic Shoppe Class 101. This bag only holds chickens but can hold an infinite number of them, which can be captured on a successful REFLEXES VERSUS! Keep a record of how many chickens are captured in this fashion. Should you die or let go of the sack to grab something else, all the chickens will immediately escape and appear all around the Kobold. The chickens will be enraged and will attack every Kobold they see!</p>

BACKPACK: You have a trendy little sack that you like to strap across one of your shoulders. In the bag you can fit anyone ITEM roughly the size of a baby. Should you actually place a baby in the backpack, you need to refer to the BABY NEGLIGENCE House Rule! The backpack and its contents, do not count against the 2 ITEMS you are allowed to carry.

RUSTY WAGON: Rusty wagon It is a rusty old wagon that is capable of holding up to 4 items. If ever the Kobold has to drag it down a cliffs edge or a particularly uneven surface the Kobold must roll an ext check or the wagons contents will spill all over the place and the Kobold will be forced to spend an amount of rounds equal to the number of items the wagon was carrying picking them up.

ADVENTURER’S CASTOFFS: Left over adventurer’s junk. Roll on the table below to determine what your kobold picked up:

1. Broken Holy Water Vial: Can be thrown at undead to do 1d6 DAM.

2. Flask of Oil: can be thrown into a fire to explode for 1d6 DAM to the square and surrounding squares.

3. Whetstone: Can be used to sharpen a kobold’s teeth and claws. Roll 1d6. Take the result in DAM and for that number of turns the kobold does +2 DAM.

4. Iron Ration: A small iron box that contains a small snack. Eating the snack regains 2 lost hits.

5. Flaming club: A stick with burnt oily rags tied at one end. Once lit, it lasts for 2d6 turns and does 3 dam before crumbling to ash.

6. Empty Wineskin.

POGO STICK: Some kid’s old pogo stick, one additional square of movement per turn.

JETPACK: DANGER! Experimental technological flying contraption that happened to be found in the trash. +3 movement. fly over stuff, but each use is a KHDC.

HEALING LIP BALM: A small tube of ointment that you can squeeze onto your sore chapped lips to heal 1 HIT. The tube holds 6 applications.

MONOCLE: An eye piece for only one eye. A prominent villager dropped it when he saw something shocking. Gives a bonus die for BARD rolls.

ACTIONS

Kobolds can do two actions during their turn (or one if they chose to do so). The two actions must be different.

MOVE! Kobolds move at the same rate no matter if they’re running, skipping, leaping, or swimming. The movement rate of a kobold is tied to their Extraneous stat. The minimum a Kobold can move is 2 spaces. From the square they start in, they can move either straight or diagonally. If there is something in a square a kobold is moving through, they can elect to move through the square and go around what is in the square unless its specified that a kobold can not do this. If a building only occupies a single square, then the kobold can enter the building when they enter the square. They can either enter through a door or the window (if there’s a window present). If a building is larger than one square, then the kobold must enter the square where a door is or find a window to go through. Attempting to enter a building through a window requires an Athlete skill check (2 dice if kobold has Athlete skill, 3 dice if they don’t).

DO! A Kobold can use an item, an edge, or other things that don’t require rolling dice.

SKILL! A Kobold can use one of their skills. The player must specify what they’re doing in their post and what skill they’re using. The mayor will then roll for that skill against its difficulty. If a kobold wishes to use a skill they don’t possess, then a die penalty will be added to the roll. The number of dice added to the roll is up to the Mayor.

KILL! Kobolds don’t fight, they kill. Kill! will be covered in its own section.

VERSUS! When two kobolds engage in a competition against each other a VERSUS ROLL is used to determine the winner. Each kobold rolls 3 dice and subtracts the applicable stat. The one with the lowest score is the winner.

DO MORE! If a kobold wants to do more than two actions in a turn, then an additional die is added to each additional action taken. These are cumulative.

KILLING THINGS!

If a kobold ain’t killing, they’re not living. Just as VOR intended.

Combat is resolved by rolling under one’s BRAWN stat. The number of dice to roll is determined by the target’s Combat Dice (which is based on REFLEXES).

If the roll is under one’s BRAWN stat, then they cause damage (DAM). DAM is based on what was used to make the attack. If a kobold attacks without a weapon, they can use their claws and teeth. These inflict 1 DAM.

DAM can be avoided by the wearing of armor. When wearing armour, it gives one ARMOUR HITS. DAM is first subtracted from ARMOUR and when the armour has no more HITS, then it is ruined. Further HITS are subtracted from one’s HITS.

When anything is reduced to 0 HITs, they’re dead. Kobolds who manage this are rewarded with VP.

SUPER AWESOME COMBAT OPTIONS

This is a new addition to the TG KAMB rules. These combat actions can be used instead of boring old attacks. To use an option, it must be specified in the post during combat.


ATTACK! ADVANTAGE DISADVANTAGE
AIM! -1 DIE to hit Can not attack the turn before this one
BLOCK! Stop an Attack from doing DAM Can't Attack
CHARGE! Double MOVE and Attack +1 DIE to hit, -1 DIE CD
DIRTY TRICKS! Target makes 3 die EGO check or can't attack 2 DIE EGO check to do
DODGE! Avoid all damage from a hit +1 KHDC
FAR ATTACK! Hit target an extra square away -1 CD this turn
POWERFUL BLOW! +2 DAM +1 DIE penalty to hit
SWING WILDLY! Attack 2 targets +1 DIE penalty to each roll to hit targets
TARGETED BLOW! -1 DIE to hit -2 DAM

Fighting Montage

If a fight seems like it'll take a long time and a player wants to finish it in a single turn, this option can be used.

All rules affecting the game that are not covered under ACTIONS are covered by the KAMB House rules.

House Rules

Current House Rules (Subject to Change)

These rules are in effect for the game. Unless otherwise stated in the rule, failure to abide by these will result in a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK.

Remember every time your kobold gets a KHDC, I'll roll 2d6 and add the number of checks your kobold has. Kobolds accumulate checks until they die. If the total is 12 or more, your kobold receives a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH.

1) Whenever you mention King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!!) you must capitalize both King and Torg and follow it with with two exclamation points.

2) Since this is an online game, all the times a player has to do something silly will be done in character. If a player has to bark like a dog, then you have to describe your kobold doing it. If I think its half-hearted then you get a Kobold Horrible Death Check.

3) The "Kobold Soliloquy" rule. If your Kobold dies, you may post and recount the great deeds of your poor dead Kobold. Once this is finished, you can roll up a new Kobold and bring him into the game, keeping all of your current Victory Points Soliloquys done well might earn Vps too.

Example: Tharg was just torn to shreds by a coop of chickens. Gus stands up at the table putting his hand over his heart, "Mighty Tharg, that did slay many chickens. That did eat Farmer John's baby. That did steal rope from the Bazaar and did valiantly die in the chicken coop behind the Screaming Unicorn. We will miss you!"

An even better example:

O!
Hark and listen, to the tale of chickens and death,
Ventured forth did TishTosh to steal babies unto his last breath.
Slay a rat he did, nay, two,
A vicious battle joined by Golf,
Oh, and a magic chicken too.
His spoils wrapping his smelly hide,
he left the house to hear "Save the babies!" cried.
Distracting the human armed with axe,
Tishtosh's barking and yipping was not lax.
But when the weapons came down,
The sad fate of a favored kobold gave Vor cause to frown.
And off in kobold heaven, TishTosh had to smile,
"To the caves with the baby Ghulio successfully fled,
Too bad I got stuck with this axe in my head."
-Twobirds “Elegy to TishTosh” from the old KAMB game.

4) The "AND ME BOSS" Rule. If more than one Kobold is involved in an action that produces Victory Points, the Kobold that instigated the action decides who gets the VPs. He can choose to divide them in any way (even if he decides that they should all be his, Mwahaha!)

5) The "BABY NEGLIGENCE" Rule. Take it from the pros: Babies are fragile! If you don't believe us, try having a catch with one, and see how long it lasts. If a Kobold performs any action that will jeopardize the life of the baby, the Mayor rolls a d6. On an odd roll, the Mayor subjects the precious little thing to the horrors of the BABY NEGLIGENCE or WILDERNESS HORRIBLE DEATH CHART. What kind of things will cause a baby to buy the farm: casting spells, putting a baby in a backpack, failing a skill roll near a baby, playing catch with the baby, and anything else that your Mom would yell at you for doing with your little sister. Every Kobold in the map square loses 3 VP for not stopping this awful waste of food!

9) When posting, just put your kobold's name in bold at the top of your post. Post in character stuff in regular or bold text, actions in italics, and out of character comments separate from in character stuff.

10) The "KOBOLDS ATE MY BABY!" Rule. If a Kobold is dumb enough (and they are) to eat a baby, when a human is present, the Mayor may post at the top of his lungs "KOBOLDS ATE MY BABY!" This rule allows the Mayor to roll 3 times on the RANDOM WANDERING TOWNSFOLK chart, and these do-gooders charge over to investigate the ruckus!

11) I'll edit these rules as I see fit. Failure to comply with these rules will result in a Kobold Horrible Death Check.

12) Snitch rule: You snitch out another player for screwing something up and I'll reward you with VP.

13) The "Inigo Montoya" rule: If a a kobold that replaced a dead kobold encounters the creature or kobold that killed the first kobold, they may claim the "Inigo Montoya" privilege. If that kobold kills the offender, they gain twice the usual Victory Points for the kill. In order to invoke this rule, the kobold must shout out, "I am (kobold's name here). You killed my father. Prepare to die!" at the beginning of each turn during combat. If you take this literally and post (kobold's name here), then I will give your kobold a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK.

14) The "Sequels Always Suck" rule: If a kobold dies and the player insists on calling their new kobold by the same name (or any direct variation like "Son of," "Junior," "the Second," or anything along those lines) the new kobold is given two checks on the KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH RECORD.

15) Mayor is never always right rule: If a player finds an error committed by the Mayor in regards to the player's own character, then the player can ask the mayor to look over the error. If there is indeed an error, then the mistake will be corrected and the player gets his choice of either having a Kobold Horrible Death Check removed or gaining two victory points. Players choice. Using this rule to piss off the mayor will result in a Kobold Horrible Death Check.

16) Posting Rule: When a majority of a players plus one have posted, the Mayor may ask for remaining players to post by Midnight CST of that day or the next. Failure to post will result in a Kobold Horrible Death Check. If there's a reason for not posting and I'm informed of it, there won't be a Kobold Horrible Death Check for the character. Mayor's discretion to use this rule.

17) New rules can't punish characters and players for actions they've already taken.

18) The game goes until one of the following conditions are met: No kobolds are alive, the end game conditions are met, or the Mayor declares the game over.

19) Gratuitous Rules are Fun Rule. I like making up new rules.

20) The Angry Mayor rule: Pissing off the mayor will result in a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK.

21) Nothing the Mayor does is considered cheating. Stating that the Mayor is cheating is an offense punishable by a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK.

22) The Mayor can award Vps for any reason, at any time.

23) Players must post (at least) once per two days after the Mayor has posted. The only exceptions for this are the first turn (which the players have one day to post) and vacations (I assume people will tell me before they stop posting). If a player doesn’t post in the required time, then their kobold gets a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK. If a player misses posting twice in a row, then their kobold will suffer a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH.

24) Rule 16 takes precedent over Rule 23 if the Mayor declares Rule 16 to be in effect. If the Mayor decides to use this rule, the Mayor will post in the thread to let everyone know its in effect.

25) First turn Amnesty. The Mayor may allow on the first turn a player amnesty from breaking the rules. The Mayor can take away the amnesty if players abuse this rule.

25a) First turn Amnesty doesn’t come into effect until these house rules have been posted in the thread.

26) Endrite rule: If the player gets probated or banned while playing in this game, their character is given an automatic 11 KHDCs.

27) Players making the same mistake in in their posts in two consecutive turns will result in four KHDCs instead of one for the second offense.

28) Failure to abide by the posting conventions listed in the mayor's first post will result in a KHDC.

29) If the Mayor sees someone breaking the tables of the forum, then they get a KHDC. The offending player will have two days after the Mayor announces in the thread that they have broke the tables to fix their offending post.


31) Never speak of rule #30. Speaking of rule # 30 results in a KHDC.

32) Excessive rules lawyering will result in a KHDC. It is up to the Mayor's discretion to determine excessive rules lawyering.

33) Anyone who admits to not reading all these rules, their kobold gets a KHDC.

34) If a character's actions and applicable stats or skills aren't listed in italics, then the Mayor has the option of not updating for that character.

34a) No KHDCs will given out for failing to post actions in italics.
34a1) When specifying movement in italics, the square the kobold is going to must be specified.

35) If a kobold's name is a reference to alcohol, then the Mayor may add the bogie alcoholic to the kobold with the alcoholic name reference (in addition to whatever other bogies they have.

36) No VPs awarded for snitching unless, the snitch posts their characters actions previous to snitching. If someone snitches and hasn't posted their kobold's actions; then they get no VPs and they receive a KHDC. The person getting snitched on still gets punished.

37) Failure to specify what someone did wrong or snitching about something that isn't snitchable is both a snitchable offense and is penalized by a KHDC.

37a) If someone has broke a House Rule, then the House Rule that is broken needs to be quoted or referenced by number.
37a1) If someone snitches, but their attempt doesn't follow these rules, then they are disqualified from earning any points in regards to the snitching offense they pointed out.

38) Emoticons/smilies are banned. Punishment KHDC for each offense.

39) If any player is active on an IRC channel and the Mayor is on hand to see them being active on that channel, then the Mayor has the option to inflict a KHDC on their kobold for holding up the game.

40) If you want points for snitching, then you need to post in the thread. IRC snitching gets you no points.

40a) Want to snitch and not playing in the game? Too bad, you are ineligible to get VP.
40b) If someone snitches, but doesn't quote the offense in their reply, then the player who did the snitchable offense can edit their post to comply with the rules without penalty.
40c) If the mayor points out what someone did wrong in his post, no one may snitch after the fact to get vps. Doing so will result in a KHDC for the person who is trying earn some easy vp.

41) The Mayor has the option of not punishing kobolds with KHDCs for failing to follow House rules.

42) On the fifth turn of actions, all kobolds who perform the action of "Twerking" during their turn will receive 5 vps. However to earn this reward, the kobold must not use the term "twerking", instead they must describe the action in good enough detail to let the mayor know that that they are indeed "twerking". Mentioning or referencing this rule in any shape or fashion in the thread will nullify the reward. Also the kobold who commits the offense will get a KHDC.

43) Failure to keep character sheet current will result in a KHDC.

44) The Foo Rule: No one can win if all of their points are due to snitching.

45) Failure to abide by any of the rules specified in the ACTIONS! section of the rules is punishable by a KHDC.

46) Any kobold who declares themselves to be King Torg will be punished by two KHDCs.

47) Titles, prefixes, suffixes, designations, cognomen bestowed by the Mayor or by actions in the game must be used every time a kobold's name appears. Failure to do so will result in a KHDC for each offense.

48) Using the term "twerking" in posts will be punished by a KHDC for each offense.

50) Any kobold name the Mayor finds offensive to his sensibilities will be rewarded with whatever cruel, unusual, and arbitrary punishments the Mayor wishes to inflict.